The fascinating question that has entrapped many a genius mind: what is it that we women want? Is it feminism, the latest Zanotti's, a boyfriend that throws petals in our path, a promiscuous life, a voice in the boardroom, or Friday nights with the BBC...
We women are a very intricate species so to garner some clarity on the psyche of a temptress (could not think of a synonym so borrowed one from the middle-ages), I'm going jot down a few myths and truths...
1) We crave respect: fact. This is a no-brainer unless a woman has such low self-esteem, that she doesn’t believe she is worthy of any form of veneration. Whatever you feel, you attract. You may not share the same views as us but through your actions you can show you admire our: outlook, career choices, boundaries, minds, body and sociological frustrations. Handle us like the last Bismuth crystal on earth and your needs shall never be ignored O’ beloved one.
2) We all want to marry a rich man: myth. Many do, and these type of women end up in a vicious cycle of competition and jealousy.
If you are generous in after-hours activities, make her feel beautiful and you are passionate about what you do, then you will keep a good woman.
If she is an opportunist and doesn’t appreciate that, then she will never be satisfied because there is always someone richer and more powerful than the current victim. A woman who marries a man because of the size of his gold mine or his social status is on borrowed time until the next younger serpent comes along and the previous is tossed aside like an eagle’s dinner.
Greed has external features and the most beautiful women I have seen were humble and happy with the life and earnings they have. An opportunist burns out because it’s hard work ice-skating uphill.
3) We LOVE romance: fact. Buy us flowers, chocolates and candles. If you cannot afford it, then tear a rose out from Hyde Park when no-one is watching. The trick to ‘gift-ing’ is to deliver when we don’t expect it.
Yes, we adore surprises because it shows us we are constantly on your or Siri’s, if you set reminders, mind. Are you the type of gentleman who holds the door open for women or helps an old lady with the shopping across the road? If so, I will get down on one knee before you do…and tie your laces since you are so busy helping everyone.
4) We don’t like immature men: myth. There is a time and place for everything and showing a side – that no one else sees – to a woman you are close to builds a unique connection. Everyone has an inner child and if you have the confidence to summon the young Ben who used to jump in puddles, then you may have the power to bring out the Isabella in me that used to laugh at peek-a-boo behind the restaurant menu and indulge in glow-in-the-dark bracelets. We take ourselves to seriously nowadays and a man who can poke fun at himself demonstrates humility, which is attractive.
5) We admire consistency: fact. Consistency is analogous to security and coherency. It’s great to deal with anyone who is consistent because you know that your plans won’t be messed around last minute and if they are, it’s an unusual exception.
If you are going to treat anyone – even a friend – as though they can be juggled to the bottom of the list every time a spanner is thrown in the works, then don’t bother. I could be somewhere else using the hours of my life learning something new. It also chips away at anyone’s confidence when you are treated as though you are a last resort. Life is short, so don’t waste mine.
6) We pretend we are easy to understand: fact. I had to include this because we women tend to say one thing and mean the opposite because we want you to break a sweat running in our maze. It’s a innocent form of boundary testing and attention-seeking. When we look grumpy and say we are fine, we really mean ‘ask us more until we break and cry’.
If you still find women confusing after this list, don’t worry; I still can’t decide if my favourite colour is purple or olive and whether I want to be a dictator or dolphin in my next life.
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